Friday, March 16, 2012

The Comparison Game.

I saw this image on Pinterest recently.  It really resonated with me.  I was so struck by how true of a statement it is.

I have to confess.  Like most women, I've been playing the comparison game since, well, as long as I can remember.  When I was little it was mostly trivial like who had the most American Girl dolls.  In middle school, it was who was the most "popular" (even as I type that I realize how ridiculous it is) and had the best Limited Too clothes (you know what I'm talking about).  In high school, it was more about who was the prettiest or who was going to what college.  In recent years, it has become less about stuff and more about life.

When I look at Facebook or blogs, I sometimes find myself having this internal dialogue.
[Seeing pictures] Aw that looks like the perfect proposal. Ah her ring is perfect. They look so perfect together. His bow tie matches her dress...SO cute.  Look at their apartment/house...looks like a page from House Beautiful.

[Followed by these thoughts] I wonder if they argue over who's turn it is to take the dogs out.  Does he leave his wet towels on the floor ever?  Did he complain about having to match or did he say "Babe, I would love nothing more than to wear that matching tie. I love when we match"? I bet they never argue about decorating. I bet he was all on board for those not so gender neutral pillows/wallpaper with pink in them.

People can make their lives/relationships/families/houses look and seem so perfect via Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. In reality, nothing is perfect.  I know this.  And I know that most of it is complete nonsense.  And a good bit of it is people who are also playing the comparison game trying to one up others.  I know this.  And yet, I still seem to struggle with measuring myself up against other people.

Lately I have been trying to keep this little mantra in mind. That comparison really is the thief of joy.  I must remember to count my blessings every day and remember that my life is not any worse or better than anyone else's just because it's different.  A different journey, so to speak.

So here's to making a better effort at starting each day with gratitude.  And worrying less about comparisons and enjoying this wonderful life that I am so lucky to have. A life where I'm surrounded by good people, an incredible family, a beautiful city (with tasty restaurants), and lots to look forward to when the time is right. Oh, and a boyfriend who puts most of his decorations* in the office/guest bedroom.

Do you share this struggle?

*I use this term loosely. And by "decorations" I mean signed sports memorabilia, grateful dead record covers, and taxidermy.

image via Pinterest


  1. I'm equally guilty and it can leave me feeling jealous instead of happy for my friends' successes (or recent engagements). Love that pin- it's a nice reminder that God has a unique plan and a unique timeline for all of us and I should be excited about that!

  2. i totally share in this struggle. thank you for your post - it was a great reflection :)

  3. Thank you! I am glad I'm not the only one struggling with this!

  4. Wonderful post--it's so true and I think it's something all women struggle with. I have so loved blogging, but the blog version of people's lives can be hard to handle at times and it's natural to compare. It really is the thief of joy though. One flip side to blogging though is that it also gives you a chance to present the positives in your own life to the world which sometimes can make them seem more apparent. I know I've found a greater appreciation for aspects of my life simply through the action of writing about them (and thus thinking about them)!

  5. I definitely struggle with this, too! Great post.

  6. Did he complain about having to match or did he say "Babe, I would love nothing more than to wear that matching tie. I love when we match"? --this made my day. xoxo

  7. I just found your blog and am so thankful I did! It's beautiful and I admire your transparency and honesty in this post. Excited to be your newest follower! :)



  8. First off, I love your name ;).

    Secondly, It's like this post came straight from my own brain! I find myself so often looking at people's lives on blogs and wondering why mine doesn't come off as perfect as theirs, but really, who is to say that just because it LOOKS like a perfect life that it really IS one?

    I have recently tried to stop comparing because I need to learn to focus on my own life! Just because I don't have a huge engagement ring, professional pictures every week, and a huge house to decorate with the most expensive things doesn't mean my life is any less amazing!

    Love the post, way to hit the nail on the head xoxo.

    Champagne Lifestyle on a Beer Budget

  9. I was just talking about this topic with some ladies the other night. I think we all do it but it's true...we have our health and so much more. Which are numero uno. It's so hard not to especially if you're a blogger so I can relate. Great post!

  10. i think that blogging can be just as bad as FB in comparison to making you feel like youre not good enough. it's so easy to get caught up by numbers and collaborations that other bloggers seemingly have fall into their laps. but, truth be told, I am so happy with who I am and where i am..wouldn't change it for the world :-)